What are Core Beliefs and Why are they so Important to Our Mental Health?
Core beliefs are deeply ingrained convictions that individuals hold about themselves, others, and the world around them. These arefundamental to one’s sense of self and play a significant role in shaping thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Core beliefs are often formed early in life through various experiences, interactions, and socialization.
These thoughts tend to be stable over time unless they are consciously challenged and modified. Positive core beliefs contribute to a healthy self-esteem and resilient mindset, while negative core beliefs can lead to self-doubt, low self-worth, and psychological distress.
Examples of core beliefs include:
– I am unlovable and unworthy of affection
– I am worthy of love and respect
– I am incompetent and destined to fail
– I am capable enough
– I am fundamentally flawed and defective
– I am deserving of success and happiness
– Others will always reject or betray me
– Others are generally trustworthy and kind
It’s easy to see how core beliefs serve as the lens through which individuals interpret their experiences and perceive themselves and the world at a subconscious level. These are the ‘roots’ of our psychological tree, and it takes conscious and consistent efforts to change.
In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), these core beliefs are a central focus. Cognitive behavioral therapists work with clients to identify and challenge negative core beliefs, replacing them with more adaptive and constructive beliefs. This process, known as cognitive restructuring, helps individuals develop a healthier self-concept and achieve greater emotional well-being.
One exercise I use in my CBT practice is a positive data log:
It’s important to note that the goal is to not convince yourself of the opposite of your core belief, but more of a balanced perception of yourself. ‘I’m good enough’ doesn’t allude to ‘I’m perfect’.
Step 3: List evidence from your recent experiences that contradict or challenge the core belief.
These would be instances where you succeeded, received positive feedback, or felt valued. The more specific the evidence, the more helpful it will be. Additionally, it’s very important to recognize the small pieces of evidence we may be ignoring.
Some evidence may look like this:
– My friend Mark called me to say ‘hi’
– I completed my grocery shopping on my own
– I didn’t get fired today
– Barbara laughed when I made a joke
– A stranger made small talk with me
– My dog was excited to see me when I got home
Last words on Positive Data Logs
Be Patient
Adding to this this positive data log every day can help reinforce useful self-beliefs and challenge negative thinking patterns. This is a long-term practice; we spend our whole lives living through a certain lens, so it takes time to shift. Patience is key here! Many people find that a therapist or other support is vital to stay accountable and also to review and process the evidence collected.
Expect Your Brain to Push Back
It’s natural to find yourself hearing ‘yes but’ after writing down evidence that contradicts our core beliefs. If you find you are having trouble accepting the new evidence, be gentle and remind yourself that you will have time to focus on the opposing data, but for now, you are just collecting some positive information.
Positive data logs are an effective, CBT based method of challenging the unhelpful ways we view ourselves and our world. Used consistently, you can find yourself shifting into a more balanced and rewarding mindset.
We all want to accomplish our New Year’s resolutions, but often we miss the mark. It’s exciting to embark on a adventure, but when the shine wears off we often drop the ball. Why don’t you make 2024 different?
The following are 7 tips to help you stick with your resolutions and succeed!
Tip #1: Stick to One Goal
As a cognitive behavioral therapist I almost always assign my clients homework. At the beginning of our work together we design the exercises to be very small. Once someone gains traction moving forward is much less effort and almost organic, so keep this in mind.
When deciding on a New Years’ resolution, stick to the one thing and keep it achievable.
Use the feeling of overwhelm as a helpful guide.
When you feel overwhelmed, you get discouraged.
When you get discouraged, you are more likely to quit at the first sign of difficulty.
Try to find a goal that is small, and cut it by half. You will most likely build momentum as you move forward.
Tip #2: Keep Resolutions Measurable
The best way to keep your resolution measurable is to start small. Begin by taking baby steps once a day. If your resolution is to hydrate, drink one more glass of water a day. If you want to stop drinking soda, start by drinking one less a day. Over time, these little changes add up to help you reach your goal. In addition, try to be mindful of your goal throughout the day. When you remember, take a micro-step toward achievement.
Tip #3: Anticipate Barriers
Before you even try to enact your resolution, make a list of the barriers you anticipate in the process. Ask yourself what self-defeating roadblocks you have encountered in past efforts. Then, ask yourself what you see as impeding your future efforts.
These could sound like thoughts such as, “I don’t feel like it” or “I don’t have time”.
You may also notice yourself engaging in sabotaging self-talk such as, “I deserve a break” or “I’m not motivated”.
Now, write down your personal barriers.
Afterward, record what you are going to do the next time this barrier rears its head. In your quest for a change, you are bound to hit upon this resistance. At its root, resistance is a reaction founded in fear. Taking little steps are the best way to get to where you are going.
Here are some ways to cope with the fear of change
An advantages card can be made of anything you want. Some people like to use a notecard, while others write on mirrors or dry erase boards. The content is simple. Just make a list of all the reasons why you want to accomplish your goal. Maybe you want to lose weight to become healthier, or maybe you have a specific clothing size you want to hit.
Read your list twice a day, really reflecting on why you want to accomplish your goals. In times of extremely self-defeating thoughts, it is recommended by cognitive behavioral therapists that you read your advantages card as needed.
Tip #5: Accept You Will Have Bumps
It is important not only to realize but also to accept you will slip up along the way. There are instances when you will be barraged with berating thoughts and crumble under the pressure. However, do not use a mess up to engage in all or nothing thinking! When you encounter a bump in the road, do not give up! For example: when you smoke that cigarette and you break the resolution once, do not throw in the towel and buy a whole pack. We will all lapse, but we don’t have to relapse. In order to make a habit your small behaviors will take a minimum of 3 weeks. Those small behaviors will lead to reaching your resolution goal by the end of the year. Be patient and practice self-compassion, especially when you inevitably mess up!
Tip #6: Ask Someone to Hold You Accountable
This tip sounds as though it would be easy. However, it can be the most difficult, especially if you are allergic to criticism. That is why it is important to find someone you trust and respect to hold you accountable to reaching your resolution. Although you may want to fight them, you will be more likely to listen when you know they are giving advice with good intentions. A good CBT therapist holds their clients accountable by assigning homework and expecting follow-through, so don’t be afraid to seek out professional guidance if you are having difficulty finding external support.
Tip #7: Make a Plan
When you make your plan, focus on the small steps and not the goal. Instead of writing down “I will lose 20 lbs this year”, break that larger resolution down into more manageable steps. This could look like, ‘I will drink more water’ and ‘do 10 jumping jacks a day’.
After you accomplish small successes, find a way to celebrate! Don’t skip this step, because it is extremely important. When you reward yourself, your brain will remember the dopamine rush and be more willing to do your bidding. Keep in mind the reward does not have to be big- many of my clients will say out loud ‘gold star!’ when they do something good. That’s the cognitive behavioral way of imprinting the good stuff into our brains in a fun and positive way.
Check out this blog from TED to give you some motivation!
The extra demands combined with the typical stress around the holidays can cause many to fall into the trap rigid thinking and the belief that life should be idyllic. If you struggle with anxiety, this season can be an especially difficult time. Perfectionism is something cognitive behavioral therapists see often. Here are some good CBT-based tips on how to help yourself during the rest of 2023 and into the New Year.
Do Not Strive For Flawless
Perfectionism is a self-imposed expectations and the subsequent stringent judgments on you, others, or a situation. You are with yourself every day and you see every mistake you make, so we tend to have quite a long checklist of our real and perceived mishaps. When you focus on self-defeating thoughts, you become hypercritical and begin to put more weight on the negative aspects of oneself. Inevitably, this leads to depression, low-self esteem, and a sense of frustration. Of course, this isn’t beneficial to you and the people who love you. When you find yourself revisiting that list of mistakes, it’s time to combat them by a CBT technique termed a ‘positive data log’. Write down events that were ‘good enough’, or events that were just fine in spite of being imperfect you begin to be more flexible, and it’s easier to see things in a more useful way.
Stop Comparing
With so many social media apps, unrealistic advertising, and other messages promoting perfectionism, it’s impossible to not compare your life with an idealized sample of others. For perfectionists, it’s not easy to remember to take a step back and assess reality. When we engage in perfectionistic comparison, we typically measure ourselves next to someone we already think is ‘better’ in some way. However, all that time comparing can have real consequences. A recent study among TikTok users reflected disruptions in sleep, low self-esteem and overall lower life satisfaction after approximately 30 minutes of scrolling through social media.
Are co-workers, ex’s, or family on social media fueling your feelings of inadequacy and stress? If you want to kick perfectionism to the curb, un-follow (or kindly mute) your “competition”, and kindly remind yourself that social media is not a representation of reality, even if just over the holidays.
Temper Family Expectations
Family can cause a lot of distress around the holidays, and even more so when you have lofty expectations. There is already enough pressure around this time of the year without adding perfectionism to the mix. Remember, you can’t control the actions of your family, but you can control your own. Part of walking the walk is that you can identify and reduce acting and thinking in ways that are not productive.
Trying to change others can be akin to entering a faulty debit card pin at checkout. You are in a hurry, and your code won’t work. Instead of admitting defeat, you continue to enter the same thing with growing frustration. Your blood pressure is rising, as is that of the cashier and the people behind you in line. The behaviors may be known and comfortable, yet stress and anxiety could have been avoided if you simply stopped repeating the same unproductive habits and expectations.
Beat Perfectionism by Shifting Perspectives- A CBT Experiment
On days when everything goes wrong, take a minute to consider how much worse things could be to shift your negative perspective. The following are three other tricks to engage your positive lens.
1.Incorporate a daily gratitude practice. According to CBT research, gratitude improves mental health, emotional health, sleep, and self-esteem. Each morning, night, or both write down 5 things you are grateful for, and that is all. Apps like 5 Minute Journal can remind you to practice journaling, and it’s easy to complete.
2. Acknowledge Your Power. Cognitive behavioral therapists emphasize that it’s vital to recognize that we all have control to choose our perspectives. We choose which thoughts to pay attention. Reorienting yourself to the positive can add more value and warmth to the way you experience your life.
In Part 3, I’ll be discussing cognitive-behavioral approaches to coping with loneliness over the holidays. As always, please let me know how these tips work for you. Other ideas? Please share. Enjoy the rest of your month and experiment with your new tools. What to know more about cognitive behavioral therapy? Click here for an FAQ: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy/CBT in San Diego
Stress management during the holidays can be challenging. Look around in any store and you’ll find early reminders of what’s ahead of us- spending quality time with people we love, great food, awesome parties, and the list goes on. Of course, these are what we all hope our holiday season will be made of, but that’s not always the case. Even in the best of situations, people struggle with excessive commitments, social anxiety, fallouts with loved ones, unrealistic expectations, and financial pressures. If any of those sound familiar, you may be wondering how to get on top of your mental health this year. In this 4-part series, you will find a way to manage the top holiday mental health concerns and start your 2018 fresh instead of frazzled.
Part 1: Start Now, Not Later
Early November can feel too soon to consider digging into holiday preparation, but if you want to enjoy some bliss this December start the ball rolling now. Planning helps you take back control, and the time to plan your upcoming season is here! It is much easier to attack the extra demands on your time early in the game. Why? You are more objective when you are not in a time crunch.
Tip #1: Give Yourself Time
One of the most effective ways to kick the holiday dumps is to use planning to your advantage. An important rule to use during this time of the year is to assume everything will take 2 times as long as you think. When you plan upcoming errands, it can be hard to remember how time-consuming many of the demands are. This can lead to overbooking and excessive commitments, which leads to unnecessary anxiety.
Tip #2: Don’t Forget Yourself
This may be the most important tip on the list. It is easy to get so caught up in the swirl of holiday activities you forget to spend time with yourself. Reserving chunks of personal time will help you keep what is important in perspective, and help you with stress management during the holidays. When we neglect to care for ourselves, we are vulnerable to poor moods. Need ideas? Check out some clever ways to enjoy the moment in front of you.
Tip #3: Prioritize
This holiday season ask yourself honestly: what and who is truly important? What can go to the side if I begin to feel overwhelmed or rushed? Although it can be hard, learn to say no to things you do not actually want or need to do. If you are having trouble figuring out how to prioritize, look to your values. Values, not external expectations, will guide you during this time. Don’t know what your core values are? Here is a great exercise to use to figure out what is truly important to you, so that you can put your priorities in order.
Tip #4: Practice Mindful Gifting
We all know this state of awareness is the best way to go about our day. What you may not have known is you can also practice mindful gifting. When we have time to be leisurely about purchasing gifts, we tend to think more deeply about the person we are gifting for. If you take this time now, the gifts you give will mean much more to the recipient and yourself. Set aside some chunks of time as soon as possible for reflection. During this time, make a list of each receiver and write down what they truly like and enjoy. If you do not yet know, keep an eye out for clues.
Holiday Stress, Anxiety and Depression
Holiday stress and depression can extend into your new year if not dealt with sooner than later. The aforementioned tips and tricks help answer the question of how to establish holiday stress management tools through planning. However, there may be times when you need more help to deal with your anxiety. Finding the best cognitive behavioral therapist for you can be another important tool in your box when dealing with the holiday blues.
FYI- Many insurance companies are waiving copayments for their clients who would like to receive online counseling at this time. Please connect with your mental health insurance provider to see if you are eligible.
Have you ever spoken to a friend on FaceTime? Participated in a Zoom meeting for work? Chances are you have virtually connected with someone via video at some point. The world is becoming more virtual as technology improves and many have smartphones that allow you to reach out to someone quite easily.
Now that much of the nation is practicing social distancing or are in places that many non-essential services are shut down due to COVID-19, we are staying home to flatten the curve and protect those who are more vulnerable to the virus. In the past, this could mean weeks of skipped therapy or inability to access help when we all need it the most. Online therapy can provide treatment while also addressing the anxieties, stressors, and fears this pandemic has caused.
Recent research reflects that online therapy can be just as effective and sometimes, more convenient in our busy lives. Also, virtual therapy can feel more comfortable for some as it is conducted while you are in your own environment. As with traditional therapy, you receive the same treatment and can discuss what you need to with your therapist as if you were face to face.
Let’s talk about the benefits of online therapy
1 It doesn’t just have to be on video
If you aren’t comfortable with video, online therapy offers other methods. Some therapists offer text-based therapy and allow you to contact them throughout the week. This can be especially useful for those with social anxiety, panic and agoraphobia. Second, there is audio therapy – in this method, you and your therapist will meet on Zoom or the telephone.
2 No commute
Commuting for therapy appointments can be cumbersome. Add the costs associated (transportation, parking, childcare and missing work for appointments) it can become a financial and scheduling burden. Many people don’t begin therapy or stop going because of the difficulties in traveling to their therapist. Online therapy removes these hindrances and makes it easier to find a time that is convenient for yourself and your therapist.
3 Great if you are uniquely abled
If you have accessibility issues or physical limitations including being housebound, online therapy is an excellent choice for you.
4 Still covered by insurance
Many insurances cover online therapy sessions, however, it always good to contact your healthcare insurance to see if they are covered under your policy.
5 As always, it is confidential
As with your visits to your therapist are private and confidential, so are your online visits! Online therapy is completely confidential and the same rules that apply offline are still applied online. The therapy itself can sometimes cause stigma around mental health; online therapy reduces this. That way you are more comfortable with the sessions and your communication during them.
Also, communication online is encrypted through an HIPAA compliant platform called VSee. VSee is free for the you and can be downloaded onto your phone or computer.
6 Your therapist must be licensed in the state you live in
Some may be licensed in more than one state. So, you know you are getting quality healthcare by a reputable and credited provider to meet your mental health needs. This also means they are aware and comply with all Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA), ethic and legal practices.
7 You can have access to a specialist that you cannot find locally
You may want a certain type of therapy such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavioral therapy or other evidence-based treatment. Oftentimes, therapists formally trained and specialized in these modalities for panic, anxiety, and other diagnoses are much easier accessed virtually. You may more likely to find a suitable and qualified therapist if you go beyond the location you would stay in to visit a therapist in an office.
Online therapy isn’t the best choice for everyone, and some mental health disorders may be better treated in person. Clients who are actively at risk of harm to self or others are not suitable for teletherapy services. If you are feeling suicidal, it is better to be seen in person. That said, during the quarantine many therapists are allowing for online sessions regardless.
Many of my clients are finding that treatment for their anxiety and worry during this time of uncertainty has been surprisingly easy, and it is a great way for your counselor to see where you live, meet your pets and maybe even family members. If you’re interested in learning more- please don’t hesitate to reach out!
Here’s to all of us taking great care of ourselves, and making it through to the other side stronger and thriving!
Your mental health is important, why mental health apps? Sometimes you cannot afford to see a therapist, do not have time to go to one, or one isn’t accessible where you live. Perhaps you aren’t ready to see one but would like to see what therapy all is about. Maybe you see a therapist, but need help to put the helpful techniques they have given you into practice. Mental health apps can be very beneficial, free, low-cost or affordably priced, and offer a way to help give you therapeutic help on the go. So which ones are best? There are so many out there!
Mental health apps that I recommend:
1. Headspace
Headspace is an app that just about anyone can use, whether you are dealing with stress, anxiety, lack of focus, or sleeping difficulties. It teaches you to “meditate and live mindfully”. Meditation has been shown to reduce stress, lessens anxiety, support emotional health, and enhances self-awareness. This app provides small meditation modules to accommodate people’s busy schedules and “SOS exercises in case of sudden meltdowns.” You can take advantage of their free trial and if you like it, you can make the jump to a monthly subscription.
2. Youper
Youper is an app that is powered by AI – “your emotional health assistant”. This app allows you to have conversations, guidance through meditations that are personalized for you and trackers that help you monitor your emotional health and mood. This technology created by doctors, scientists and engineers;focuses on the science and pursuit of happiness – helping those with depression and anxiety live happier lives with treatments personalized for them. This app also works in conjunction with seeing a therapist, as you can ‘share’ your information. Many of my clients use this app as complements many of the CBT techniques we use right in session.
Youper is free to download and have some free features; more advanced features are based on a subscription plan.
3. FitMind
This app offers meditation training as part of a “mental fitness” approach. FitMind uses traditional techniques used since ancient times with western science. Using daily challenges, along with access to meditation instructors; FitMind can help you learn to meditate in a way that works for you. Again, meditation is a useful tool for improving mental health because of all of the health benefits you get from practicing it. This app is free and offers in-app purchases.
4. Sanvello
Sanvello is an app designed for stress, anxiety, and depression using strategies and resources that can help you with the symptoms and situations you are dealing with at the moment. You can customize goals; like mindfulness, building confidence and thinking positively. Based on clinically proven techniques, this app offers tracking for mood and sleep, tools for relaxation and meditation and you can connect to a group of your peers for further support. Free to sign up and install.
5. MoodKit
This mental health app uses four tools that are designed to enhance your mood, identify and change unhealthy thinking, track mood, and create journal entries. Managing negative feelings thoughts by identifying situations that cause stress, changing how you think, monitoring your mood through tracking, and developing self-awareness through writing is all of the ways MoodKit is designed to help you improve your mood and mental health. This app is only available on the iPhone and iPad, but is just $4.99.
Mental health treatment is no longer limited to the office and self-help books. Whether you are on the road, want quick help, or establish a daily cognitive behaviorally based self-care routine, there has never been so many options on how to start. It’s good for you, and most apps have a free trial! Jump in and let us know how it goes.
steps once a day. If your resolution is to hydrate, drink one more glass of water a day. If you want to stop drinking soda, start by drinking one less a day. Over time, these little changes add up to help you reach your goal. In addition, try to be mindful of your goal throughout the day. When you remember, take a micro-step toward achievement.
on you, others, or a situation. You are with yourself every day and you see every mistake you make, so we tend to have quite a long checklist of our real and perceived mishaps. When you focus on self-defeating thoughts, you become hypercritical and begin to put more weight on the negative aspects of oneself. Inevitably, this leads to depression, low-self esteem, and a sense of frustration. Of course, this isn’t beneficial to you and the people who love you. When you find yourself revisiting that list of mistakes, it’s time to combat them by a CBT technique termed a ‘positive data log’. Write down events that were ‘good enough’, or events that were just fine in spite of being imperfect you begin to be more flexible, and it’s easier to see things in a more useful way.
Part 1: Start Now, Not Later 
